(F)UNEMPLOYMENT

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The hottest day of the summer marked for me the beginning of two things:

1. A summer of unemployment
2. A new life practice of letting the day come to me

I started off my morning debating some Conservative ass-lick’r on a local TV station.  After 10 minutes of listening to (Insert racist anti-immigrant diatribe here), I stormed out of the studio and made my way down University Avenue towards the Financial District. I was looking for a demonstration at KPMG, the monstrous consulting firm responsible for recommending Toronto slash $800 million in public jobs and services from it’s annual budget. I had decided not to write down the address of the demonstration, hoping that the sounds of angry chants echoing off the towering buildings would be so loud I could follow it.

On my way, I bumped into a friend-crush who informed me that the demo had  ended because it started on time, (something I rarely account for in my planning of anything). Stating that he had no plans for the day, he asked if I wanted to hang out. Excited and nervous to see what spontaneous one-on-one time with him would bring, I said yes. Hoping to cool-off, we finally entered the Eaton Centre for a free dose of A.C. Within minutes, its stifling interior and  self-esteem sucking ads forced us back onto the sweaty streets.

In front of us at the corner of Yonge and Dundas, we saw what seemed to be a mirage of very small children running amidst dozens of water jet fountains bursting high up outta the ground. Glancing at each other for quick nods of approval, we kicked off our shoes, tossed aside our bags and sprinted for the splash’n. I pulled out an extra red t-shirt from my bag, drenched it in sprinklers and knotted it as many times as I could, until it formed a big red ball. We tossed it back and forth pretending to be MLB pitchers, NBA ballers, World Cup soccer players, even NFL touch-downers.

Basking in the joy of our new found fame, we slipped from the bliss of sprinkler land, sliding like human puddles up Yonge Street. I laughed hysterically at  my crush as he insistently stopped every third passerby (squeezing water from his shirt pretending it was sweat), asking them if they were as sweaty as he was.

On our way, we stopped in at one of the few stores we could afford, Dollarama and bought 3 things: sidewalk chalk, bubbles and the biggest bouncy ball we could find.  Happy with our playful purchase, we trotted into Yorkville and soon spotted a HUGE wall (the side of a private car park), on Cumberland Street. PERFECT! we thought, for a game of impromtu handball. We whipped out our big new bouncy ball, haphazardly slapping it into the wall, until we found the perfect rhythm. Slap-Bounce-Slap-Laugh. Slap-Bounce-Slap-Laugh. Immersed in pleasure, we were rudely disrupted, when a mean mean lady came outta nowhere, flailing her translucent arms, screaming, “You’re on private property! Stop that right now!” We looked down at the public sidewalk under our feet and then back up at her chuckling. With little in the way of coordination, she tried to snatch our ball and began steaming like a grumpy teapot when we out maneuvered her. She threatened to call the cops. Unwilling to let her spoil our first day of (f)unemployment, we galavanted onward to Hemmingways rooftop patio to toast our day of playing together in a glass half full.

A Hairoic Grand-Opening with Stylist Wizard Yeemi Tang

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 Just a few weeks ago, I skipped backwards, arm in arm with my friend Sarah through a snow storm. After a couple of not so spicy Ceasar’s, we stumbled into OUR FIRST EVER … SALON OPENING @ salon Y.

Shaking the snow off myself, like a cute pup, I stripped off my favourite cobalt blue  jacket, a.k.a. sleeping bag dress, ready to rock my wholesome, fitted, colourful floral printed cardigan overtop a ribbed black body suit, snugly tucked into my favourite brown corduroy boo-tay shorts. With black tights underneath and new cute n’ cozy winter boots from my lova, I was ready to strut about and make friends.

My night officially turned into a super success, when I met Senior Stylist Yeemi Tang and her gorgeous partner Charm. The super hot couple with the best names ever, charmed my pants off, (not literally… they’re monogamous).
Inspired by their piz-zazz, I booked an appointment for the following week.
In her loosely fit jeans and cut- off shirt, Yeemi, embodies an I don’t try sex appeal. The Hong Kong born, ‘Sauga bred, self taught, ex-Catholic school rebel, is now my number one, Hair Master of the Universe. Not a title I give out lightly.

Only 8 when she first cut her own hair, Yeemi moved quickly. At age 14,  usually the peak of awkwardness for most teenagers, Yeemi boldly shaved her entire head. Yep. All of It. Starting with herself and slowly expanding to friend’s noggins, Yeemi chopped up new styles wherever she had the chance.

One day, in the midst of tryna figure out what kind of artsy gettin paid thing she wanted to do with her life, Yeemi strolled into Donato Salon & Spa to visit a friend getting a hair cut. Impressed by her fabulous Mohawk, with intricate fades and designs, everyone asked if she was a stylist. When she replied “No,” they asked her if she wanted to be. Considering this as a possibility for the first time Yeemi said “yes”.  The rest is history. She quickly moved up the ranks of the company to senior position possible, working as both a stylist and educator.

Yeemi now works at salon Y, a small boutique shop hidden away on Widmer Street, off King West, around the corner from the TIFF Light Box. My advice? Book an appointment. You wont regret it. From audacious and a-symmetrical, to lengthy  luxurious layers and straight up crazy updos, Yeemi’s expansive hair-art repertoire has something in it for everyone.

To sneak a glimpse at Yeemi’s wizardry, check out:  yeemitang.tumblr.com

Or to book an appointment, call  Salon Y @ 416-341-4247

30 MUST DO’s Before My Big Day

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I’ve attended at least one birthday party a week since 2012 began, including my own. I just turned 29 and I’m coming to the stark realization that I’ma be turning the big THREE O in just 10.5 months. Conscious of my birthday diva tendencies, I can foresee myself, miserable and mopey-eyed,  recounting my last 3 decades, woefully griping about my meager accomplishments.  Hoping to avoid what could be a very stressful moment, I decided to create a list of 30 MUST DO’s before my big day. First item on the list, create random blog to  share my love of fashion, freedom and all things fun with the world or just the 2 people who(hopefully) read this.

  1. Create a blog
  2. Stop losing my shit
  3. Organize a flash mob
  4. Re-create a 30 person wedding dance extravaganza – in a grocery store
  5. Get a dog (I think it’ll be good practice for a baby)
  6. Win a Nacho-Off
  7. Take my favourite kid on Earth to a butterfly garden
  8. Underground Rooftop Party
  9. Learn yoga from funny white people
  10. Go to skool. Yeah, I said it.
  11. Overcome my fear of lists
  12. Learn to Jive
  13. Play in an anarchist baseball league
  14. Get a Long-John Lap Dance
  15. Come up with a solid list of animal insults for assholes
  16. Throw an Acupuncture Party for my stressed out friends
  17. Introduce my left over food creatures to the world
  18. Smoke a J in the shape of an airplane
  19. Learn to Drive
  20. Bury a time capsule in a ceiling cause I’m scared of holes in the ground
  21. Throw a Soul Train party
  22. Make an upside down plant garden
  23. Turn street volleyball into an official Toronto sport
  24. Bathroom Concert – enough said
  25. Organize a fake lecture series at a university, using really big words for no reason
  26. Design a very and I mean VERY popular t-shirt
  27. Share my insights on what People Who Can’t Afford Therapy do to Get Better
  28. Document the growth of a Hipster Kitten
  29. Get Jacked! Six pack – or at least four
  30. Start my own business – stay tuned for more details